Oooohhhh fuck. What have I done? I'm sitting at my new favorite coffee shop in Madison staring at the comments and likes on a Facebook post I put up just barely two hours ago and a tidal wave of fear and doubt is sitting at the table next to me preparing to leap over and wash me out to sea. It took months to prepare myself to write the damn post and then I wrote and rewrote the thing over and over for literally 6 days. You'd think I thought I was creating an Earth or something. Forgive me if that joke falls flat or is just a little too far over the line. Anyhow...
I've read posts where folks say something like "....so, I did a thing:" Well, I too, did a thing. I decided I'd offer to show folks how to play guitar and for some reason I'm sitting here drinking too many free refills almost dreading that decision having just now decided I'm going to fuck it up. How can I fuck it up, you ask? Well, maybe I have absolutely no actual reason or way to answer that but Todd, the asshole who lives in my head, is positive I'm going to ruin someones life, as well as the next 3 generations they're responsible for, by taking any kind of step towards any kind of anything. This is another day in the life of Josh. By the way, Todd is me. He's my own personal Tyler Durden. I named him Todd because back when I decided to name that shit bag voice in my head I'd just watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Todd & Margo. Todd resonated with me. And right now Todd's got me convinced this was a terrible idea but really, I know it's not. I mean, it might not be a great idea but it sure as hell isn't like a 145% kind of bad idea.
So, I'm going to dump this coffee and take a walk. The lake is nearby and and it's beautiful outside. Maybe I need to not think for a little while. Maybe look about 2mm outside my own mind and find something to be grateful for. I've got plenty of reasons to count my blessings.
Plus, I need to decide what to do if anyone decides they want to talk about guitar and recovery.
